One of my favorite questions to ask people who come to me seeking healing is this:

Are you really ready to be well?

The obvious answer for most people is yes. However, when I keep digging I find the opposite to be true.

When we are on a journey of healing – whether that be physical, emotional or spiritual there are certain positive things that we get from being ill.

When I was 60lbs heavier and riddled with anxiety, depression and extreme endometriosis I felt like crap, but it was also serving me. Each pound that I had put on was protection. I realized that by eating instead of dealing with my emotions I could do exactly that. Not have to deal with my emotions.

Another positive I got from being “sick” was the excuse of bailing out of things that I didn’t feel comfortable saying no to. Meetings, work deadlines, social gatherings, family gatherings etc – I always had a great excuse. I was sick. I learned how to run away from things that I didn’t want to face. Any chance that I would feel uncomfortable or awkward I could pull the sick card.

Not to mention that when we are sick or in need we get attention. We are shown love and care. And that feels really nice. However, over time not only are we depleting the energy of those we love the most; we learn to only receive love when we have a problem. What does it feel like to be loved when we are actually healthy and don’t need anything anymore?

In order for real healing to take place, we have to be willing to let those benefits of being sick go. We must learn to picture ourselves as healthy, vibrant and radiant people. This alone, if you really take the time to think about; scares a lot of people. Sick individuals don’t have any identity being well.

Ways to Engage in Healing:

LET GO OF THE OLD STORY – If you have been “sick” in whatever form that takes, you have to let go of the past. You are moving towards healing. Even if you are still currently sick, begin to let go of those benefits and realize they are no longer serving your highest good.
EMBRACE A NEW STORY – What would it look like if you were well? What kind of life could you live? You can give honor and meaning to your journey and the time you spent being sick which was formative in your transformation. However, healing requires us to embrace a new story and destiny for our lives.
START DESCRIBING YOURSELF IN A NEW WAY – There are power in your words. “The greatest human need is to stay consistent with how we describe ourselves. Expand your personality.” (Tony Robbins) I changed from labeling myself as a “foodie” to a “health advocate.” I stopped telling people I had endometriosis and anxiety. I didn’t want to reinforce that in my body any more. Mantra: I am healthy, active, and full of life!
BE AROUND HEALHY PEOPLE – You are the sum of the 5 closest people you surround yourself with. This was so challenging for me. I had to start surrounding myself with healthy people. Both physically and emotionally. I let go of some toxic friendships, and sought out people that lived congruent with where I was heading.

Healing is all about timing. If you aren’t ready, that is ok. It’s a journey, and no part is without meaning. It took me about 5 years of baby stepping my healing until I was fully ready. Becoming aware of the fact that you are benefiting from being sick is a great place to start.

If nothing else ask yourself this: What positive things do you get by being sick?

I would love to read your responses to this question. Share with me below in the comments section.